ATTENTION BEAVERTAIL! This is an urgent news bulletin. The body of local resident and best selling author, Todd Sinnoh was discovered this morning in the Murasaki Woods two miles south of the Main Street Denny’s.
The body was discovered last night at 2am by local high school students Bobby Burt and Ashley Apples who were having a late night bible study in the woods. The two innocent teens stumbled onto the body which they described as “totally gross” and “not cool” before adding “ew.” According to the Beavertail PD, the time of death seemed to be sometime between two days ago and possibly two years ago. They did inform us that the former is much more likely but that its too early in the case to rule out anything. Mr Sinnoh was wearing the same disheveled suit he was last seen wearing and police say it appeared as though he had had an intense argument with someone very recently. He had on his person, $12,000 in unmarked bills, a copy of a bizarrely erotic manuscript written by his brother-in-law and a waffle from the Denny’s shoved into his pocket (although those close to the victim have informed us that this was not out of character for him). The police have determined the cause of death to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 stab-wounds to his lower torso, arms, legs and chest or the poison that seemed to be in his system based on the purple-ish hue of his face… The prevailing theory at the BTPD is that this was a suicide in which he stabbed himself 20 times with various tiny knives before succumbing to his wounds and possibly a poisoned waffle, however they aren’t ruling out some form of foul play. If you have any information on anyone who may have had a quarrel with Mr. Sinnoh, access for 20 small knives or means with which to poison a waffle, please contact the BTPD as soon as possible!
Featuring Matthew Schott, Becky Granger, and Dylan James Amick,
with Isaac Allen Miller
Created by Matthew Schott
Edited by Trevor Scott
Theme Music by Chris Callahan
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