CCRH: Sermon-on-the-go, SPECIAL OFFER!!!

THE PASTOR IS BACK THIS WEEK WITH A VERY SPECIAL OFFER!! THIS IS ONE EXCITING BARGAIN YOU AREN’T GOING TO WANT TO PASS UP!! YOU AREN’T GOING TO FIND SAVINGS LIKE THIS ANYWHERE ELSE IN TOWN!!! THOSE IN NEED OF TRANSPORTATION PLEASE LISTEN AND CONTACT THE PASTOR OR MYSELF IMMEDIATELY!!!!
BUT THATS NOT ALL WE HAVE ON OFFER THIS WEEK!! I HAVE A SPECIAL OFFER FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO TAKE THE TIME TO READ THROUGH THESE DESCRIPTIONS!!! I HAVE A BARELY USED KEYBOARD I AM LOOKING TO TRADE FOR A SIMILARLY USED KEYBOARD!!! IT WORKS PERFECTLY!!! THE ONLY DOWNSIDE IS THE CAPSLOCK KEY IS MISSING AND IS THUS FOR SOME REASON CONSTANTLY STUCK IN CAPSLOCK BUT ITS HARDLY NOTICEABLE!!! ALSO THE EXCLAMATION MARK KEY IS BROKEN AND WILL SOMETIMES ADD MORE EXCLAMATION MARKS THAN YOU INTEND TO END YOUR  SENTENCE WITH BUT WHO DOESN’T LOVE A COUPLE MORE EXCLAMATION MARKS!?!?!!!!! IT JUST SHOWS MORE ENTHUSIASM!!!! PLEASE CONTACT ME SOON I DESPERATELY NEED A NEW KEYBOARD THE ONLY OTHER KEYBOARD I HAVE AVAILABLE IS MISSING ALL NUMBER KEYS AND THE SPACEBAR!!! CONTACT SOON PLEASE PLEASE!!!
-DON
p.s.nevermindtheotherkeyboardisofficiallybrokenbutifyouareatallinterestedstillIamwillingtopartwithitfortwodollars.

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