I know that you need help with your podcast but frankly I don’t care. All you did this week was sit around and talk to some people from that old folks home on Birch Street anyway, no one is going to care. More importantly, I think I really messed up. You told me that women respond really well to big romantic gestures so I went over to my sister’s house with some flowers. Turns out they were having a big party celebrating the release of her husband’s fourth best selling novel. I should probably let you know I was a little drunk when I went over there. Anyway, long story short I got into a bit of a shouting match with “Todd” (Seriously, what kind of name is Todd??”) over which one of us could write a better novel so I ended up stealing his electric type-writer and locking myself in their bathroom. Well, you know how nervous I get when I need to get something done and how helpful baths can be for my nerves.

Anyway, once they put out the fire my sister told me she NEVER wanted to see me again that she was moving! WHAT DO I DO!? Should I finish the book I started in their bathroom?? It was pretty good? I could send you some excerpts maybe??? Maybe I should buy her more flowers? Get a card this time?? I really really need your advice here, Pastor. No one knows women better than you!

Please let me know soon! I don’t even care if this ends up being a description for one of your episodes, just help me!

PLEASE ADVISE SOON!!!!!

-Don

Featuring Matthew Schott, Patrick Mahaney, and Kris Azarm

Created by Matthew Schott
Edited by Trevor Scott
Theme Music by Chris Callahan

Produced by Julia Katz, Chelsea Rugg, and Andrew Terrance Kaberline