A Glimpse Into My Mind – Trevor Scott, Tuesday Thoughts

Trevor Face

PREFACE:  What you’re about to read is a mess, but that’s to be expected.  

I had an idea of what I wanted to write about, but something interesting was happening. I kept noticing that I got distracted while writing this blog post.  

I decided that I was going to notate when I got too distracted and stopped typing, just to see how often I did it. As I went along, I noticed that I wasn’t being distracted by anything in particular besides my own thoughts.  

So I made this blog post into a little game: whenever I zoned out, or lost my train of thought, I would stop typing, look around the room, and zone out. Whenever I came back to reality and realized I was supposed to be writing, I would write about whatever was on my mind at that moment, until I zoned out again. Sounds fun right?

I’m curious to know what you think about the results. Maybe give this exercise a try if you find your mind racing and see what you find.

Oh, I forgot…one more rule: No deleting content. A lot of times when I write, I’ll type a sentence or two and immediately delete it because I didn’t like how it sounded. I decided against doing that here. I’ll be honest, there was a moment or two where I almost did out of compulsion, but I stopped myself. (And yes, I corrected spelling and grammar)

So, I hope you enjoy this stream of consciousness Tuesday Thoughts! (Emphasis on the “thoughts”)

————

There are a lot of things I should be doing right now. But I’m not doing them. It’s weird to think about – I know the consequences of not doing things right now, and yet I’m still not doing things. And I’ve been in this situation before; plenty of times. I’m sure I’ll be in it again. It’s weird, I feel like every time I’m in this situation, I tell myself that I don’t want to be in this situation again, all the while knowing that I will certainly be here again, at some point in time.  

I’ve been thinking a lot about procrastination recently, procrastination and work culture. I’ve noticed that I often find myself thinking that “I am way busier than I should be right now.” Of course, this is echoed by a great many people who I interact with on a daily basis. Everyone is always busy, busy, busy.

That’s where I stopped writing. My train of thought had split into five different carts going onto different tracks. It’s not a perfect metaphor, but it works. I was so overwhelmed by the different directions I could be going in, so I just stopped and stared at my dresser. I wasn’t really looking at it, but I was staring in its direction.

I wonder: When people say that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, does that apply to procrastination as well? Like, is the brain of someone who procrastinates wired so that endorphins are released by putting work off? Or are depressed people more likely to procrastinate? That’s probably right.  

Wouldn’t it be strange if we classified being a procrastinator as a mental health issue? I’m sure that would piss somebody off, as if that would be hard to believe. Although, it seems like people who procrastinate once wind up being serial procrastinators. Ugh, that word just sounds so displeasing; procrastinator.

You ever think about what would happen if you just stopped doing everything you were supposed to? How far do you think you could get before someone checked up on you? Probably not that far, but still…okay, so what if we all did that? Just everyone in the world just decided not to get out of bed that morning? What would happen? I mean, besides nothing.

Why is going to bed so much easier than getting up?

So people who shave their heads bald, do they shave it every day?

Does hair just accumulate?

I’ve heard about people who don’t need sleep. They can just go on without stopping. Wouldn’t that be amazing? But at the same time, that sounds like a curse. I like sleeping.  

At one point in my life, sleeping was a part of my personality. Somebody actually told me that I slept a lot. They made a joke about how I took naps. That’s weird.  That’s a weird phase for somebody to have.

I’m not really a competitive person. Like, whenever we would do things in school that would be little competitions

I like to delete a lot of my writings. It’s slash and burn most of the time.  

There’s a mark on my wall. How’d that get there?  I’m not upset or anything, I’m just curious to know as to what occurrence brought about that mark.  

I probably look like I have problems concentrating, and I would argue that I’m tired. So, if you read this and think that

The placebo effect is kind of terrifying. Did you know that the placebo effect still has an effect even if you are aware that what you are taking is a placebo? I feel like that’s not how it’s supposed to work. That seems like cheating.

You know, there’s this morbid question that I’ve seen brought up before: Have I already bought the shoes that I’m going to die in? That’s a bit presumptuous, you might die barefoot. But sometimes I wonder: Have I already gotten the best haircut of my life? It’s more subjective, but I think it puts some perspective to the first question.I typed that sentence as if I had evidence to back that up, but I really don’t. It’s funny, this is the time I don’t look away from the computer, or get distracted. I feel like that would help right now, because I have to dig myself out of this one. Oh boy, so: if you’re talking about clothing you’re going to die in, then that’s fine, but death is eventual.


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